I like using soaker hoses in my vegetable garden. They deliver the water where it’s needed with minimal waste, and they don’t splash water on the leaves – an invitation to disease.  When we moved about a year ago, I brought my old soaker hoses with me, but alas, they were full of unwanted holes and I had to replace them. (I find these hoses break down in just a season or two. It must be the UV light.)

I set off to buy new soakers in the spring, but I guess I left it a bit late, because all any of our local stores had left were the flat, ribbon type hoses.

The Object of My Annoyance

These looked great to me, so I grabbed one and brought it home. I hoped it would lie flatter than my old round soaker, and be easier to place. I hate wrestling with the hose! So I began unraveling and installing the new soaker, and something terrible began to happen. As I flattened each section to the earth and held it down with a garden staple, the remaining hose began twisting and curling back on itself – like an annoying serpent. The more I tried to flatten it, the more it writhed. Once I finally got the last section all nice and flat, I would look up and the first part would be all twisted.

I ended up having to lay the entire thing  three times, and when at last I was done and had unclenched my jaw, I turned on the water to reap the rewards of my labor. The first section seemed to work fine, but the lower parts were not soaking at all, because, as I discovered, there were tiny kinks in the hose. The darned thing never did work properly, and I ended up using a watering wand instead. So if you see these in the store and they look tempting, my advice is to grab an old fashioned round soaker hose and run away! The flat ones – at least this one – will drive you crazy.